Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
