I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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