whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
