Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
