you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
