I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This house was built for laser tag.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
