thus making me awesome and them whores
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
