"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
