Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize