So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just high enough for therapy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
