I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
