he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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