1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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