I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize