i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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