i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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