Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
