it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
