You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
