Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize