How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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