Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
In America we eat man semen.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
