Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
