But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
