You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
