How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
