i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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