I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
