He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
