There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
