Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
