bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
