I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
