I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Need sex. Gaining weight.
a search helicopter?!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
