hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
