True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
