Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize