so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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