I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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