We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
