Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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