Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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