Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize