absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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