Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
