Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
