Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
