I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
