HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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