people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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