I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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