Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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