fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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