Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
