So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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