Just fell off a train. Bad.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
