Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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