Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
