So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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