If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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