What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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