They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
