My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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