Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
