Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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