is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just fell off a train. Bad.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
