He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
