first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
