Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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